Friday, October 31, 2008

the slut rule

if you have ever seen mean girls or been to a college campus during october, you know that, "halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it."

whether or not you believe this to be true, i think its safe to say that most girls take this to heart and take total advantage of october 31. i love it. i lovee seeing at every ones costumes. and it always makes me wonder why people choose what they choose to be. my favorite costumes are always the most creative, the sluttiest, and the ones that look exactly what they are supposed to be. it just gets me really excited!

you would think in all my halloween excitement that i would be one of those girls. but i never have been (maybe that why i love it for others so much?). its just not my style. it probably has a lot to do with the fact that my bod aint banging? i always wonder if i would be something slutty if i had the body of a goddess.. probably not but there is a possibility. maybe ill find out next year? keep your fingers crossed!

ok so rather than being something slutty, i always seen to take the opposite approach. my sophomore year of college i was a mexican for halloween. or "tres amigos." cameron and shannon were in on it too. shannon and i wore homemade ponchos and a denim skirt. we put on heels and called ourselves "sexy mexies"... question mark. we didnt really. i wish we had though. we just called ourselves tres amigos. the tres part of tres amigos was cameron. he was sick nasty. a friend of ours packed his face with bronzer to make him look legit. he also came complete with a stache and chin hairs. oh and he slicked back his hair. i always think he looks like roger off of doug when he wears it like that. its a good look for him though. and he somehow got a real poncho. (seriously, where did that come from?)

the night was eventful. we were all headed to a party in austin to have the time of our lives. long story short, the car in front of us was playing chineese fire drill. i thought it would be fun in my boozy, delusional fog to play along with. so i did. and i fire drilled right into the front seat of their car. the light turned green and i was there to stay. keep in mind, we were on riverside, one of the more sketch roads in austin. i though it was be okay for four reasons: 1. i was drunk 2.the car was a bmw 3. my friends were following behind in their own car 4. the driver of the car was dressed as a cow. how harmful could he be? i didnt take in to account that: 1. i was drunk 2. i was on riverside 3. my friends couldnt keep up with the beamer 4. they were drunk too? 5. i had nothing with me. no cell phone, no purse, no phone numbers. 6. it was halloween and weird things happen. so anyway, (this long story shot is getting long) the kind, kind people, whose car i was in, decided to take me to a party and rape me. no, not really. but they did take me to a party. it was an all ethnic party. i was a white girl dressed as a mexican. it didnt work out. finally my friends came to rescue me, and party a little on their own, and we headed back to san marcos. it was fun. very fun.

other, less event full, halloweens include my freshman and junior years of college. i believe freshman year i dyed shannons hair. and junior year i ate at river pub.

which brings me to this years halloween. kacey and i decided, after much hesitation, to be m&ms. it was about as cute as it sounds. we got shirts from hobby lobby the night before and i was in charge of putting the "m" on. of course, i waited till the last minute to do so. well its safe to say it didnt go well. i accidental drew the m the wrong way on the wonder under and when i went to iron it onto our shirts, it was backwards. then i was screwed. i was out of wonder under and for that matter, time. so i had no other choice than to be happy with it. and that i was! mike, jills boyfriend, suggested that we call ourselves drunk m&ms. we didnt. i thought we could be karen smith dressed as an m&m. (for those poor souls that have no idea what i am talk about, karen smith is from mean girls. for prom she jazzed herself up with a rhinestone "k" on her chest. she put it on in the mirror. and it was backwards.) we did neither. we just spent our night explaining to people that im an idiot. when i told kacey about the little accident, she said "as if our costume didnt already suck." but its true. it did suck. we were in tall tees with a backwards m, leggings, and heels to sex it up. it was very sexy.

anyway, we all (for those who care: jimmy, austin, marcus de sean, tyler, eric, vince, adam, lauren, whitney, jill, mike, rebecca, laura, russ, mark, louis, kacey, and myself) headed out to a party barge on lake travis. it was called "the ark" and if you ask jimmy, its the biggest boat on lake travis. whatev. the night was fun. some highlights include:
  • the bathroom. it was the only place our costume looked right. because of the mirror of course. annnd the stalls were made out of pvc pipe and curtains. there was no curtain between kacey and my stalls so we peed right next to each other. it was fun. and really cool. kacey didnt think so. she was in a hurry to get out because of the weird smell. it reminded us of steak.
  • it wasnt really a costume party. so that kind of put a damper on things and made us stick out like sore thumbs. kidding. but there was some sort of 70's cocaine theme that none of us were aware of.
  • when the boat docked, we went exploring on the rocks. i broke my toe nail and called the guy dressed as santa a dick. i dont remember that but lauren assures me that its true. oh and there are pictures to prove it. cute!
  • stephen was dressed as bruce spreingsteen. so that reminded me of my dad. ha ha. his costume was my favorite of the night. along with morgans. she was a jelly fish. her costume was a lampshade covered with metalicly jelly fish like material with strings hanging off for tentacles. it was soo cute. cuter than i made it sound. and i like that she could be a slut (shes skinny) but she wanted to be a jelly instead. oh and she had jellies (the shoe) on too.

  • also, we got lost on the way home and ended up in north austin? so that was fun.

well when its all put on paper, it doesnt seem so fun. but i assure you that it was.

so my plans for halloween night include watching the office with kacey. i cant go to the square wearing my so called costume. that would just be the height of embarrassment. everyone else will take full advantage of the slut rule. i just cant be in that environment tonight. you understand.

i hope everyone has a happy halloween complete with lots of pictures and sluttiness!

xoxo, lauren

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

life is full of questions

.. and eligible bachelors. yes or no?

is it just me or has everyone been a part of something but never really had it all? it could just be me. i feel like a relationship just ended that never began in the first place. its aggravating, to say the least. and i guess its true; blog spots shouldnt be treated like a diary for all to read. but i want mine to be. and ive decided to do what i want.

so let me rewind just in case i have some extremely loyal and anonymous blog readers. which im sure i do..

i was not dating nor did i ever date him and now its "all" over. (ohh this could make it all the more fun... i will call him "mr. big!" haha i always liked that nickname.) i know; how do you end something that never began? im puzzled by it also. and even more puzzled by why i cant seem to get over it. although this did only happen about 2 hours ago. it has ended before. and i couldnt get over it before. this time will be different though. i can feel it. and its exciting :)

i may be excited. but its only partially. the other part is still irritated about closing a door that never fully opened. its all extremely confusing but maybe you can relate? i feel like we never gave each other the chance and now, we missed our opportunity to give each other the chance. people are always missing their opportunities..

so this is the scene.. well we talk almost every night. unless were busy of course. sometimes were busy hooking up with other people. and those nights we usually dont talk.

we were both busy this weekend. not with hooking up with other people (foreshadowing?), but with visitors. my visitors included shannon, cameron, jessica, and aunt flo. its always good to see aunt flo. especially when she surprises you in a brand new pair of panties! but thats both disgusting and besides the point.

so mr. big also had visitors this weekend and one included a girl in his bed! yeah. it was hard for me to hear. but luckily the news was broken to me via a "funny story." it was something about flirting, and being punched in the stomach, and then loosing your manners, and it being hilarious, and then hooking up. i dont know all the details but i assure you, it was funny! i mean you can imagine. thats all very funny stuff, right?

keep in mind that we were indeed busy with weekend (some of us busier than others) so we havent talked since like thursday. so when mr. big tells me this hilarious story tonight, i feel my stomach drop and my heart start to beat fast. i can be dramatic. epically with aunt flo in town. but i felt like this reaction was necessary. its true, we wernt dating nor did we ever date, but i felt like i had just been cheated on. its an awful feeling. ive felt it before. ive felt it before, but ive never actually been cheated on. it probably has a lot to do with the fact that we werent dating nor did we ever date!! can you sense that i am a wee bit bitter about that?

you see thats the thing. mr. big and i have been both friends, and friends with benefits for about 9 years. you can only imagine the drama within our time. but we never dated. now we never will. we want different things. and when i was asked by him if i thought we are compatible i said yes. and he said no. so that may have a lot to do with it..

i swear it hasnt always been that way. no matter what he says. i think we had a spark at one point or another. and i think we both think that. but we just let it slowly die out. today, the spark was extinguished. i would feel alot better about it all if we had reached the flame stage. but i guess hes right, you cant look in the past hoping it will change. it wont. maybe if barack was president then?

ok so, we never dated. but we did get to "know" each other. and as far as i know, we each only "know" each other. (if you know differently, id rather not know about it.) say know again. oh and is that tmi?

through out our 9 years of whatever you want to call it (except dating), the ball has taken turns in both of our courts. but what pisses me off the most is never throwing the ball when it was in my court. if there even is a ball or a court. imho, there are balls flying all over the place. twss. it seems like i would be feeling something but never would make a move and the next thing i know, the move was being made on me. my move. made on me! oh and let me clarify, the moves arnt steps in the right directions (well maybe they are in the right direction but they are not steps to bring us closer). for example, i knew that it all needed to end but never acted on it. then mr. big ended it for me. and from the smallest detail of never hanging up the phone on him when i was ready to get off because i didnt want to be rude and end a conversation while he was talking. but instead, it seems like i always got abruptly hung up on. midway through my conversation. so typical. maybe because im much too nice!? but anyway, those should have been my moves on my own court.

a close friend of both of ours once told me that if what we were doing didnt bring us closer, maybe we should consider dropping it. once i heard that, i knew it was time. time to drop the ball. but i was comfortable. very comfortable and after all; why close one door when another hasnt yet opened? thats like quitting one job without finding another. i know what your thinking: people do it all the time. and i know its all part of life and the excitement of not knowing whats next, but i am a puss sometimes. and this has just been one of those times. luckily, my move was used on me, once again, and the fire was put out by him. how sweet.

it was about time i take a big leap i guess. so here i go. out on a limb. and i fell like its a really dinky limb that has to hold me, and the extra chin i gained this weekend, up. this aint pretty.

so the question still haunts me; how do you get over something you were never under? and perhaps the most ironic part of it all is that you actually had been under it/him. ha ha pardon the pun. i had to.

hopefully i will find the answer i am looking for on my own. maybe i will find it in another mr. big? then again hopefully not. and the funniest part of all is that i always liked aiden more than big anyway.

this has been liberating.

god is love,

oh and yes, i guess this blog was about you. but you are still vain. yes or no?

Wednesday, October 8, 2008


i was reading a blog once (before i became a blogger) and there was an entry about why that blogger was stereotypically a boy and a girl. i cant find it anymore but i wanted to do an entry like that of my own. so here goes nothing..

3 reasons i am stereotypically a girl:
  1. i love all things girly: make up, jewelry, lip gloss, nail polish, pleasant smells, eye lashes, shopping, luxury, perfect eye brows and lips, "bubble gum" music, betsey johnson, bags, belts, dresses, decorating, long hair, etc.
  2. pink is my favorite color.
  3. gossip. i hate to admit to it but i do love gossip. celebrity gossip included. and secrets. just secrets in general. even post secret.

3 reasons i am stereotypically a boy:

  1. when others care about little petty things, it bothers me to no end. im just not one to get stressed out about stupid crap and it bugs me when other people do. (is that even a trait in guys?)
  2. i have an obnoxious laugh. and im sure one day someone will like it or maybe even love it. and i cannot wait!
  3. i curse a bit too much. but im trying to cut back. its very hard. and so unattractive.

3 reasons i am stereotypically a celebrity:

  1. i often arrive fashionably late. its a bad habit and im not proud of it.
  2. sometimes it seems like i think the world revolves around me. i think it has a lot to do with being the youngest child.
  3. i love attention and pictures of myself. ew embarrassing. celebrities hate shutter bugs and i want the pauperize around me ha ha.

3 reasons i am stereotypically a blond:

  1. i get excited about stupid little things that no one else would ever care about.
  2. i can be an air head.
  3. i have more fun! my gpa could be much better but im pleased with my social life! so thats good.

3 reasons i am stereotypically a brunette:

  1. well i actually am a brunette. some people call it black. but no one in the world has black hair. just really really dark brown. oh and i love the color of my hair. i have never died it. im so proud to say that :)
  2. im smart.

i got stumped by the stereotype of brunettes. so i googled it. it said brunettes are smart. and that i am. so even though i actually am a brunette i only have two reasons...

3 reasons i am stereotypically a prep:

  1. welp. i like pearls and sperrys? and i always wear polos? and i would die if i was wearing a pattern and not a solid? and you can always find me in khakis?

3 reasons i am stereotypically jock:

  1. i like to party. and drink. a lot. but i have quit until thanksgiving.
  2. i am extremely athletic. i played softball for one year when i was nine, on the undefeated team, "the texas twisters." i was number 4 and the shirts were grey. it was awful. but i think my dad wished i was a boy or at least a bull dyke. and i was neither a boy, a dyke, or the athlete he had always hoped for. whatev.
  3. i love the olympics. i think i can really relate to the athletes. all their years of hard work and discipline shine through when they compete in each event. and my sister and i had our own mini olympics today. my mom was the judge. i won in the high kick, plank, and middle splits competition. she took the gold in the left splits ( i swear my mom felt bad and had to give her something). and then her husband, chris, jumped in for the sprint. he took gold. i got bronze. embarrassing because it was my idea. oh, and one time shannon and i raced in lantana. i won! and i looked like elvis. but i still won!

3 reasons i am stereotypically nerd:

  1. i am on the computer more now than ever before. maybe due to my blog?
  2. board games! i could play all the time. and im really good. get me on your team and i will take us to victory!
  3. sometimes i like to go to bed really early. so i guess that would be the stereotype for a grandma not a nerd.

(i wish i could say i love to read and my gpa is a 3.98 .. maybe in my next life)

3 reasons i am stereotypically a northerner:

  1. i come hard and blunt wit it. i am not very sensitive and i always expect others to be the same way. and when they arnt, feelings get hurt. its always bad. i am so sorry and i never mean to be mean. i just dont expect people to be such pussies. ha. kidding.
  2. my nails are black. new yorkers always wear black. ?

3 reasons i am stereotypically a southerner:

  1. everything of mine is monogrammed. i love monograms! and my initials are perfect for it! LTE. now imagine that in cursive! so adorable.
  2. i could drink tea all day.
  3. i live a slow paced life and love it. i can easily relax. unlike my dad.

anyway, i got to hit the hay. but i want everyone to do this little entry. it could be real fun?! alright. let me know ...

later on, lauren

eye candy

throughout the day i spend too much time looking at different websites and i very often find things i die for. how selfish of me to keep them all to myself so i figured i should share some with you...

i am beyond smitten with this tootie cutie tutu!! i just love it and can only imagine how freaking cute the party pictures would be! i still have a couple years till i will need this for a kid of my own but maybe i will be and auntie soon!?

yep. i know you love this uuber cute fish and her castle. if i ever have a fish again i will want her to live in style much like this one. soo cute! lori maries (first name basis) blog in general is tote adore and you must check it out here.

i found this scarf on etsy and fell in love and then in elsies post today, she showed a very similar scarf. i so admire elsie for her creativity and originality and it excited me even more that we love the same type scarf. hers has a cuter asian model then the one i found but i still like to think they are one and the same. and that elsie and i could easily be blood sisters.

now i have always loved bows. maybe because since the day i got my hair cut in a pixie (the hair dressed though i was a boy. i was wearing pink overalls and was very cute. she was an idiot.) at age three, till i was in the glorious years of jr. high, i wore bows. that may be the height of embarrassment. that and playing the clarinet for three of those years. they both climbs the charts. but at least i didnt wear jincos or shirts that said "super freak" in glitter. i was gay and stupid with my hair bows and instrument while others were spelling out classy in their punk rocker outfits. ok besides all that, i love bows and i also love this bow ring. i ordered it and it should being shipped today! ill be sporting it before you know it.

i think its safe to say im a fan of betsey. i loooove her. and her perfume. and this is the best/coolest invention ever. that cute little bottle fits in your purse and you twist it, then squirt it, and you smell like heaven. ok i reallllly want this and hopefully i will get it sooner rather that later. (i am aware that this is beginning to look like a wish list.)

sadly this sold. but i think its soo cute! its so simple yet so different. i just really like it.

do you not die?! i die.

welp. my jills mom is bringing us dinner tonight so i must get prepared for that. its been so real.

xo, lauren

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

list and fascists

let me start off by saying what a nice, nice day it is here in the texas hill country! the sun is shining, not a cloud in the sky, and just the perfect breeze. it really is nice. say nice again.

i was thinking today while talking to lauren and whitney (two of my roommates for my hundreds of anonymous blog fans who dont know), of things i wanted to do before the end of the month. so heres my list of what ive come up with so far..

31 things before the 31st:
  1. eat dinner outside at our apartment clubhouse
  2. take advantage of my apartment amenities
  3. get my camera fixed and
  4. take a picture everyday
  5. go into austin for dinner and sixth
  6. wear my hair differently
  7. hand write letters to my far away friends
  8. get a better idea of who to vote for
  9. go to a pumpkin patch
  10. carve pumpkins
  11. enjoy a ghouls (girls) night out or in
  12. get spooked at a haunted house
  13. go to a concert (matt nathanson, shannon?)
  14. watch the office season 4
  15. return all things that dont belong to me
  16. receive things that do belong to me
  17. catch up on birthday gifts (i am the world worst gift giver when it comes to a time frame)
  18. wash my car inside and out
  19. exercise my creativity and
  20. my body
  21. open an etsy shop
  22. volunteer
  23. read a book
  24. host a dinner party
  25. go rollerblading!
  26. design a header for my blog
  27. send in my yogurt lids to support breast cancer
  28. sing karaoke
  29. rearrange my closet so that fall and winter clothes are more prominent
  30. embrace my inner hippie
  31. send flowers to someone for no reason

so wish my luck! looks like i will need it.

love ya, lauren

oh and; today while i was walking on campus a guy yelled, "anyone who uses hairspray is a fascist!" ha ha isnt san marcos cute!?

Monday, October 6, 2008

you wish!

i am trying this new thing where i eat healthy and work out in hope of dropping some lbs. but every once in a while, some skinny soul with no concept of loosing weight, will invite me to eat out. today it was james. and his choice of restaurant: los cucos. this means baskets of free and endless chips. what a nightmare. not really, but i guess it could be. lucky for me jimmy mixed the dips together and my appetite vanished. well not entirely, but just enough. i ate my grilled chicken and veggies while he tore into his fried stuffed avocado. disgusting. i am so not interested in fried food anymore. ha. i wish.

so we finish lunch and our insanely awkward waiter brings the check. one check. i secretly smiled when jimmy reached for his wallet but then thought i would spare the embarrassment of "lauren, you wish. im not paying for yours too. cough up the cash." and decided to go for mine as well. so with two cards and one ticket ready, the waiter comes back and takes the black bill case away. and just as he turned so swiftly, one of the card fell to the floor. he turned back to us and said "so you want me to split it up?" jimmy replied too quickly with "yes!" and thats when it ended. my pretend date with jimmy was over.

ha ha ew jimmy, you wish!

i dont really think like that, or go on imaginary dates with innocent people. but i do hate when the guy is the one to ask for separate tickets. at least let me be the one to do that. i think it makes them look cheap and me look pathetic. although i do hope im wrong because it happens all to often.

when we got back into james' obnoxious vehicle, the gas light went off (or i guess more correctly, on) which made me think...

thats a perk in having a boyfriend.
never having to be the one to put your hands on that nasty gas pump or stand in the brutal texas sun to fill up your tank. just let him do it, right? or having to ask for the check to be split. and instead putting in all on one and all on him. and also getting fresh flowers randomly. that may be one of my biggest fantasies. always having fresh flowers to cheer up a room. it may sound pathetic, but jill's (one of my roommates) boyfriend, mike, brought her a bouquet of gorgeous roses that she so graciously put in our kitchen for us all to enjoy. and let me tell you, i could get used to that!

myself being single, stubborn, and optimistic, i usually fill my mind with various reasons why it is best to be single. but i guess the truth is there are many positives in being in a relationship. and i do know that someday my prince will come ha ha and until then i would not be caught dead waiting to start life with him but merely excited to change the way i enjoy life.

let that be your food for thought.

xo, lauren

p.s.- my new favorite show you ask? that would have to be ironic iconic america. it on bravo and is widely entertaining. do watch. i was hoping it was a series but i am beginning to think it is just a special. sad.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

the first

beginnings are so exciting! i have been thinking about it for a while and i finally decided that the first blog post in my first blog should be today. and lucky you for being the first to see it!!

today is such a special day, not only because of my first post, but for many other reasons:

      • it's the first day of october
      • the start of the fiscal year
      • i just started surfing the crimson wave
      • the dailey's anniversary
      • pushing daisies premier
      • and i just found out, eric and julie andrews birthday

i wish i was a little better at all this internet stuff, but im clearly not. so i will be perfecting it all later. but now its time for pushing daisies!!! more later..

xxoo lauren