the slut rule

if you have ever seen mean girls or been to a college campus during october, you know that, "halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it."

whether or not you believe this to be true, i think its safe to say that most girls take this to heart and take total advantage of october 31. i love it. i lovee seeing at every ones costumes. and it always makes me wonder why people choose what they choose to be. my favorite costumes are always the most creative, the sluttiest, and the ones that look exactly what they are supposed to be. it just gets me really excited!

you would think in all my halloween excitement that i would be one of those girls. but i never have been (maybe that why i love it for others so much?). its just not my style. it probably has a lot to do with the fact that my bod aint banging? i always wonder if i would be something slutty if i had the body of a goddess.. probably not but there is a possibility. maybe ill find out next year? keep your fingers crossed!

ok so rather than being something slutty, i always seen to take the opposite approach. my sophomore year of college i was a mexican for halloween. or "tres amigos." cameron and shannon were in on it too. shannon and i wore homemade ponchos and a denim skirt. we put on heels and called ourselves "sexy mexies"... question mark. we didnt really. i wish we had though. we just called ourselves tres amigos. the tres part of tres amigos was cameron. he was sick nasty. a friend of ours packed his face with bronzer to make him look legit. he also came complete with a stache and chin hairs. oh and he slicked back his hair. i always think he looks like roger off of doug when he wears it like that. its a good look for him though. and he somehow got a real poncho. (seriously, where did that come from?)

the night was eventful. we were all headed to a party in austin to have the time of our lives. long story short, the car in front of us was playing chineese fire drill. i thought it would be fun in my boozy, delusional fog to play along with. so i did. and i fire drilled right into the front seat of their car. the light turned green and i was there to stay. keep in mind, we were on riverside, one of the more sketch roads in austin. i though it was be okay for four reasons: 1. i was drunk 2.the car was a bmw 3. my friends were following behind in their own car 4. the driver of the car was dressed as a cow. how harmful could he be? i didnt take in to account that: 1. i was drunk 2. i was on riverside 3. my friends couldnt keep up with the beamer 4. they were drunk too? 5. i had nothing with me. no cell phone, no purse, no phone numbers. 6. it was halloween and weird things happen. so anyway, (this long story shot is getting long) the kind, kind people, whose car i was in, decided to take me to a party and rape me. no, not really. but they did take me to a party. it was an all ethnic party. i was a white girl dressed as a mexican. it didnt work out. finally my friends came to rescue me, and party a little on their own, and we headed back to san marcos. it was fun. very fun.

other, less event full, halloweens include my freshman and junior years of college. i believe freshman year i dyed shannons hair. and junior year i ate at river pub.

which brings me to this years halloween. kacey and i decided, after much hesitation, to be m&ms. it was about as cute as it sounds. we got shirts from hobby lobby the night before and i was in charge of putting the "m" on. of course, i waited till the last minute to do so. well its safe to say it didnt go well. i accidental drew the m the wrong way on the wonder under and when i went to iron it onto our shirts, it was backwards. then i was screwed. i was out of wonder under and for that matter, time. so i had no other choice than to be happy with it. and that i was! mike, jills boyfriend, suggested that we call ourselves drunk m&ms. we didnt. i thought we could be karen smith dressed as an m&m. (for those poor souls that have no idea what i am talk about, karen smith is from mean girls. for prom she jazzed herself up with a rhinestone "k" on her chest. she put it on in the mirror. and it was backwards.) we did neither. we just spent our night explaining to people that im an idiot. when i told kacey about the little accident, she said "as if our costume didnt already suck." but its true. it did suck. we were in tall tees with a backwards m, leggings, and heels to sex it up. it was very sexy.

anyway, we all (for those who care: jimmy, austin, marcus de sean, tyler, eric, vince, adam, lauren, whitney, jill, mike, rebecca, laura, russ, mark, louis, kacey, and myself) headed out to a party barge on lake travis. it was called "the ark" and if you ask jimmy, its the biggest boat on lake travis. whatev. the night was fun. some highlights include:

• the bathroom. it was the only place our costume looked right. because of the mirror of course. annnd the stalls were made out of pvc pipe and curtains. there was no curtain between kacey and my stalls so we peed right next to each other. it was fun. and really cool. kacey didnt think so. she was in a hurry to get out because of the weird smell. it reminded us of steak.
• it wasnt really a costume party. so that kind of put a damper on things and made us stick out like sore thumbs. kidding. but there was some sort of 70's cocaine theme that none of us were aware of.
• when the boat docked, we went exploring on the rocks. i broke my toe nail and called the guy dressed as santa a dick. i dont remember that but lauren assures me that its true. oh and there are pictures to prove it. cute!
• stephen was dressed as bruce spreingsteen. so that reminded me of my dad. ha ha. his costume was my favorite of the night. along with morgans. she was a jelly fish. her costume was a lampshade covered with metalicly jelly fish like material with strings hanging off for tentacles. it was soo cute. cuter than i made it sound. and i like that she could be a slut (shes skinny) but she wanted to be a jelly instead. oh and she had jellies (the shoe) on too.


• also, we got lost on the way home and ended up in north austin? so that was fun.

well when its all put on paper, it doesnt seem so fun. but i assure you that it was.

so my plans for halloween night include watching the office with kacey. i cant go to the square wearing my so called costume. that would just be the height of embarrassment. everyone else will take full advantage of the slut rule. i just cant be in that environment tonight. you understand.

i hope everyone has a happy halloween complete with lots of pictures and sluttiness!

xoxo, lauren